Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
