After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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