You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize