There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize