Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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