didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
