I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
