Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have post one night stand depression
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
