so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
