I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
