I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
