He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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