well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We left the knife in your bed.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
