I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
