i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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