So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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