Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
