I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
