She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
