The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
