He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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