He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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