ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize