Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
