She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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