Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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