I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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