Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
