Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
