Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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