Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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