just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
