VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
