seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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