but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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