he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
