she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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