Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
