plz talk dirty to me
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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