I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
