haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize