How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
