There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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