guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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