one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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