I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
