he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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