What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
