And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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