I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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