Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
