**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
