Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
