i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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