Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
