i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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